COVER STORY • HALLOWEEN WEEK
There is a very specific version of Halloween we tend to picture.
The adorable costumes. The perfectly carved pumpkins. The smiling pictures on the front porch. The kids running from house to house yelling, "TRICK OR TREAT!"
And then there are actual children. 😂
The one who refuses to wear the costume they picked out themselves.
The one who wants to wear their costume every single day until Thanksgiving.
The one who loves the decorations but wants absolutely nothing to do with the giant inflatable ghost making terrifying noises in somebody's yard.
And the one who would happily visit 47 houses if we'd just keep walking.
Here's your reminder: they're all doing Halloween just fine.
We sometimes get so focused on what a holiday is supposed to look like that we forget our children are experiencing it through their own personalities, preferences and comfort levels.
For some children, costumes are exciting. For others, unfamiliar fabrics, masks, face paint or accessories can feel uncomfortable or overwhelming.
Some love the noise and excitement of a crowded trunk-or-treat. Others would rather walk a quiet neighborhood or hand out candy from home.
And some children communicate differently, need additional time, use mobility equipment or participate in ways that don't match what strangers expect.
None of that makes their Halloween less special.
A child doesn't have to say "trick or treat" to deserve kindness.
They don't have to wear a costume to participate.
They don't have to tolerate something frightening just because everyone else thinks it's fun.
And they certainly don't have to prove they're having a good time by smiling for a picture.
The goal isn't to create the perfect Halloween.
It's to create an experience where our kids feel safe, included and free to enjoy the parts that make them happy.
Maybe that means three houses instead of thirty.
Maybe it means pajamas, popcorn and a Halloween movie.
Maybe it means skipping the pumpkin guts and painting the outside instead.
Or maybe it means going all out with costumes, candy, decorations and every spooky activity you can find.
There's room for all of it.
And as a community, we can help make Halloween more welcoming by remembering that participation doesn't always look the same.
Offer patience. Give children time. Don't demand a verbal response. Respect their space. And remember that you never know what challenges or differences a family may be navigating.
A little understanding can make a big difference.
Because years from now, our kids probably won't remember whether their costume was perfect or whether we made it to every Halloween event.
But I hope they'll remember that they were allowed to be themselves.
That's the kind of Halloween magic worth keeping. ❤️
